“BABE, YOU’RE ATTITUDING AT ME!” Yes, we were back in Chelsea this week, where you could say normality was resumed.
As the stylish two-some Caggie Dunlop and Millie Macintosh were reunited at last, they had a hot date lined up with Taylor, Taylor of London and a pair of tongs.
The events unfolding here however, had nothing to do with the fate of Hugo Taylor, just to assure those of you wondering when the newly single rogue was going to get his comeuppance. I mean, you didn’t honestly think these ladies rolled out of bed and to lunch with perfectly tussled locks, now did you?
“I’m back,” Caggie wiggles her eyebrows mischievously to Millie, looking every bit, a part of the 1920’s glamour that oozes from the Commercial Street boutique salon. The pouting, mind-boggling blonde is back for good; and luckily for her, the versatile denim shirt-jacket is a semi-transferable seasonal trend.
“Actions speak a lot louder than words…” Cagg’s advises Mills on her problematic relationship, “He’s great at pulling the wool over your eyes, telling you what you want to hear, but if he’s not actually doing any of it, tell him to do one.” Ouch! Her rather harsh words leave poor Millie in tears of despair… again. Perhaps E4 had the cast attend an acting class or two this summer.
As Caggie leaves the salon, cue Louise Thompson, Spencer’s special ‘friend with benefits’ who revealed the inevitable in this week’s episode, confessing that she may feel more for the bachelor than she initially anticipated.
As if Millie didn’t have ample problems concerning her own love life, I mean, what were the chances of the girls all having appointments in the same East London salon? How long does it actually take to tong Millie’s mid-length hair? And meanwhile, who was watching Chelsea?
Well it certainly wasn’t Ollie or Binky as they headed to Baker Street to the Joshi Clinic. Last week’s drama
aboard a boat in Cowes, was apparently still taking a toll on Ollie this week and who wouldn’t need a little cupping massage to get the blood cells flowing and remove with the feisty Gabriella causing trouble in the neighbourhood.
Binky complained at how awkward the situation was becoming for herself and Cheska, and Chloe decided to take matters into her own hands by showing up on the set of the singers debut music video and first single ‘fight,’ in case you hadn’t heard?
The long-anticipated showdown didn’t quite meet expectations. I’m not sure whether it had something to do with Miss Green’s monotone voice or the fact that both girls seemed to back down rather quickly. “Babe, you’re attituding at me” was the line of the week from songwriter Gabriella, but all was well when the pair of them, reluctantly met Binky and Cheska for drinks in an attempt to unite the two apposing parties.
As it turns out, Ollie was more flattered than mentally disturbed by the fact that his ex girlfriend had produced a music video starring not one, but two union jack clad Ollie look-a-likes, performing the song, which they apparently wrote together.
This week our attention turned on to fresh made in Chelsea meat, artist, Oliver Proudlock and his television debut involved a friendly game of table tennis with the boys.
An interesting fact?
Well Proudlock (as he goes by in the show) is also rumoured to have a romantic history with Caggie. What mildly attractive guy in Chelsea doesn’t? Like Caggie and her double denim, Proudlock has a fashion forte of his own, in the shape of a small cross earring. I imagine the pair wouldn’t have looked out of place on the King's Road
during the 1970’s punk era, in which artists thrived.
Meanwhile, Francis enjoys an afternoon catching up with Rosie… at the castle climbing centre?
“It’s all about finding the optimum path to the top,” he explains.
Right, and I suppose we can find out more of these practical business exercises during his book launch and casino night at Funky Buddha, arguably the most randomly chosen venue of the series.
Perhaps this reflects the remaining budget more than anything? At this rate, the stars will be eating soup of the day at Prêt-a-manger and sipping 2-4-1’s at Whetherspoons? I dread to think.
Rosie continues to press Francis on his new found popularity with the ladies to whom he responded: “I guess people have seen the light.” I couldn’t agree more old boy.
Back at camp Vandelli, Mark is mid-sketch as Amber enters bearing news on their latest scandal to ensnare poor Francis, in the hope of striking a deal with the diamond heir. “I think he thinks we’re going on a date” Amber smirks.
“It’s a sort of, give me your diamonds date, keep him guessing,” Mark continues and with a toast the scene ends, undoubtedly with hundreds of average-looking, university challenge-esk’ girls screaming at their television sets, praying that poor Francis won’t fall for such trickery.
As the sun set rather dramatically over London, we found ourselves at the launch of Francis’ new book: ‘The Entrepreneurs Code to Life.’ A semi-autobiographical account of the lessons, which he has learnt in business, Francis elucidates that his reason for writing the book was to save himself having to speak to the many ‘kids’ who bombard him regularly with questions on how he got to where he is today. Surely the words ‘heir to Diamond Company’ would fit on to a single leaflet?
“I thought it was a bit weird of you to ask Binky on a date” Louise proposed to Spencer as the night drew on, “you’re wearing that lipstick again” Spencer distracted from the conversation, “the one that smudges if one is kissed.” When of course Louise kissed the bachelor’s smug cheek, he claimed that he was hers for the entire evening, until, the inevitable, Caggie showed up and quite literally wiped it away.
“It’s all sort of incestuous” Rosie remarks and for once, she is spot on.
Later in the evening, a rather glam Millie rocks up to the launch in order to “show Hugo what he is missing,” but after a brief chat with Caggie, all is not well as Hugo approaches with a rather weak “How are you?”
“I’m well, apart from finding out that you cheated on me,” Millie steals the limelight once more. After flicking the remainder of her drink in his face, she left wishing she had ordered two.
It’s a new day in the Royal Borough, and in case you were wondering, things were going well at the Brompton Bar and Grill as Spencer wined and dined Binky, his new “over sexy agony aunt.” Hardly compliment of the year Spence.
NEXT TIME: Will Millie stick around long enough to find out that Rosie knew all along of Hugo’s cheating antics? Louise asks Caggie if she still has feelings for Spencer? Binky dates a rather familiar looking extra and things hot up for Francis. Only in Chelsea darlings!
Rachael Kay is reviewing Made in Chelsea which is on Mondays, E4 at 10pm.