Growing up my mother taught me two things; never to drink cheap champagne, and never to pour the dregs from an empty bottle. Several episodes yet to air and Natalie broke the ice by asking Hugo and Spencer: “How would you guys dress if you were girls?” I guess not all scenes were created for our entertainment.
Hardly the cork popping opener one might have expected by episode four, we were glad to be back in Chelsea nonetheless and Rosie, who appeared to have sat on something rather prickly that lunch, chortled in her seat at the Bluebird Cafe, the way your grandmother chortles when there is something rudimentary on the tele; it is uncomfortable and usually concludes with a channel change.
One should be so lucky.
Instead, we were forced to slowly dissect Spenny’s choice of attire this week.
“It’s very um, euro” Hugo offered, eying the wax effect puffer jacket which he had apparently purchased from Harrods. Meanwhile in Chelsea, Ferrerier would like his coat back.
Millie’s attempt to make amends with Rosie didn’t go quite according to plan this week as the pair met at a nail salon to discuss the prospect that they might be working together at Glamour magazine.
Despite being the one to betray her friend in the worst way possible (by sleeping with her boyfriend) Rosie threw aside any hope of reconciliation, calling her a liar.
The drama continued elsewhere. After confronting Cheska in the defence of her so called two-week fling with Richard in last week’s episode, ‘it wasn’t just sex, there was pizza express involved too’ Gabriella took to the Gloves Boxing Club in Fulham in preparation for round two, warning poor Binky “this is not a game.” Hands up!
Gab’s “the fun killer” as she has been known, seized her chance to lash out at the Horseheath point to point, Cambridgeshire, where Ollie and Cheska happily donned matching jackets made by friend and the queen of tweed herself, Jade Holland Cooper.
“We are never going to get laid because people will think we are husband and wife” Cheska complained. Yes, that must be the reason...
Another pitiful showdown, this time involving an innocent dog, a few carefully placed bystanders (also known as extras) and a more welcome glimpse of the day’s runners later; the odds of a rekindled friendship were looking very slim.
And speaking of even slimmer odds, whilst the likes of Jamie, Proudlock, Hugo and the rest of the boys all placed their bets on the field, Richard was fancying his chances on a different breed. “I’m going to place some bets but I’ll see you around” Kimberley smiled politely as always, leaving Richard to stumble on his jumbled attempt at asking her out on a date. Alas, in the words of Victoria Baker Harber, “shame babe.”
For those of you city dwellers who are most probably pondering “the point of a point to point,” – well ponder no further as Ollie cleared this up rather matter-of-factly. “Well you see a horse occasionally, but generally you sit in the back of a car and drink.”
If you are still not sold on the concept, perhaps Jamie’s explanation would resonate a little clearer, “basically you get a lot of horses and you race them around a track, and you bet on them and if they win you win money on them,” right then, now that is settled, who is for champagne?
Richard was not the only one playing the field this week. Still torn between best friends Spencer and Jamie, who both claimed to have strong feelings for her in last week’s episode, Louise it seemed, had decided to back her horse each way. Leaving it until Hugo’s party in a hotel suit to reveal her feelings, the suspense was kept to a minimum when apparently, Spencer’s line “I don’t want to pick you up and drop you, I just want to pick you up” did not quite hit the mark for Louise and she was seen to be kissing Jamie shortly after. And so all bets are off; it seems Spencer has finally been beaten at his own “game” and by his best friend no less.
The episode drew to a close on a much lighter, perhaps more wavering note as we were treat to more of Gabriella’s infamous piano antics this week. Gabriella was helping ex-flame Richard to create a jingle for his new advertising campaign. “I’ve come up with a few ideas” she enthused, amongst the scattered candles and homemade sushi she had prepared.
“I believe in miracles” she sang, over and over, as we reached for our emergency mute buttons. “Umm, do you have anything that isn’t, like old dear lost in the woods?” he asked.
Next time on Made in Chelsea
“I’m going to find me a man once and for all,” Ollie is determined that he is gay. Much to Rosie’s disgust, “Like a tornado of destruction,” Millie calls Hugo and invites him to go out for a drink with her and “it will last like three weeks,” Spencer speculates on Jamie and Louise’s new relationship. Jamie takes Louise on a romantic trip to the park where she vows never to get drunk and kiss Spencer again. Can she resist him?
Find out in tonight’s episode of Made in Chelsea.
Rachael Grace
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